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Fri, 21 February 2014 08:00:48 +0000
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All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

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Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

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To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

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Thu, 20 February 2014 16:19:09 +0000
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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

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Thu, 20 February 2014 11:12:19 +0000
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If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

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Wed, 19 February 2014 13:16:48 +0000
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Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

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I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

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Wed, 19 February 2014 02:48:41 +0000
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

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Tue, 18 February 2014 22:10:31 +0000
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Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

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Tue, 18 February 2014 15:35:24 +0000
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Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.


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